Today was one big rush Woke up rushed to MGSROCs meeting It was just kinda of a waste of time, since we spent most of the time discussing about pointless matters. I ended up playing Klabutong with Chloe and Beu behind the computer whilst taking down the minutes and listening. Not surfing animal porn which Mrs Choo thought I was since the Pau put that silly idea in her head. After a meeting which took forever to get over with ended. Went to get Faith, came home and realised Faith is totally incapable of using my computer. Headed down to the club, hanged around to study. Faith was positively scared of anything that moved. Even Bea! How can you be afraid of Bea?! She is so darn sweet even though she is a typical chestnut mare, but still! She is so cute and wonderful. I love Bea she cheers me no matter what. Just thinking about her cheers me up actually. Along with Thunder. Heehee. Anyway she was also afraid of Tarzan our residential stable cat. Silly woman. Riding was awesome as always though Songkla can be such a nerd and all. He does this really irritating head bopping thing, it keeps making me think he is lame. Actually he is not, its just a nasty habit. I think I overstrained my back by riding too enthuiatically with my seat. Oh well, had a mini MGSROCs meeting with Emma during cell worship I will NOT get stressed over things like this. Anyway cell enlightening. Yet, I find myself always doubting. Human Nature? Maybe. Lack of Faith. Most probably. Its life just throwing me so many questions that I cannot handle. Because its beyond me. Its something I do not know where I belong anymore. Yet, I know I am child of God. Is that all that matters? I mean there are so many wordly issues that seem so minute in God's eyes but its like some rut in the road which I cannot get out off. I keep telling myself, no this is not worth it. There much be so much more than this. Far more than what people throw at me. I really sound like a brat who whines all day long. Yea I am, insult me more than. Because maybe I forgot how to pray. Prayer deludes me now. I feel like drop dead and dying now. Like I need to run away from all this. Change might be a good thing after all. I would never know would I. Thanks for nothing